I know you want to have an amicable separation, and maintain a positive relationship moving forward – not only for your own sense of well-being, but also for your children’s benefit.
Let’s be honest, you won’t always want to cooperate with your spouse – the process of separating and sorting out all the legal and financial stuff can be difficult and overwhelming, particularly when there is so much emotional stuff added into the mix.
It is not easy to always do, I know that. However as you navigate this process, and the next few weeks or months, keep in mind that you are all trying to survive your separation in a respectful and dignified way. You’ll all be better off if you cooperate, because:
- You will catch more flies with honey. Showing your spouse that you’re willing to give a little in discussions and negotiations, generally helps work towards a resolution that is really important to you too.
- Cooperation grows reciprocation. As you navigate and find your way to your “new normal”, you’ll be re-defining your relationship as co-parents. Approach discussions in a way that looks at the broader picture. If your spouse is unwilling to shift their perspective on a particular issue, how willing do you think you will be to give a little when they are running late, or ask to rearrange your schedule to help with arrangements for the children? It works both ways, if you are able to show a willingness to cooperate, your spouse most likely will too.
- Taking the higher road. Adopt the approach of giving your spouse the benefit of the doubt. It can be easy to get stuck in a mindset of feeling angry and spiteful through separation. Giving your spouse the benefit of the doubt, and being cooperative and flexible is far less exhausting, and much better for your mental well-being, and overall sense of self.
None of these suggestions mean you should give in to unreasonable demands or requests from your spouse, but that it is important to recognise that re-defining your relationship as co-parents will require some compromise.
And if you need some advice to understand what is or isn’t reasonable; or you just can’t reach an agreement – there are some peaceful and respectful options available to help you find a solution that works for you both – get in touch!
Megan Sweetlove is a divorce lawyer and the owner of Sweetlove Family Law. Megan has worked with families who are experiencing separation and divorce for over 10 years.
Using a kind, compassionate and caring approach, Megan will work with you to develop a strategy that will enable you to have a successful separation and to work out the best way to move forward, taking into account your economic and emotional needs.
If you or someone you know needs assistance during divorce you can organise a complimentary 20 minute phone appointment with Megan here.
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