This Christmas, life might look a little different to last year – and that’s okay!
You might be wondering how to survive the Christmas period (spoiler alert: you will survive!)
It might feel strange – and it may still feel raw, even if the separation was your idea, and even if you separated earlier in the year.
Most people are surprised that even in those circumstances – even if it was your idea, the process can still take its toll on you, physically and emotionally, particularly at this time of year.
Hang in there and remember how far you’ve come.
I really believe it’s vital to take care of yourself during your separation because in taking care of yourself, you will actually be in a better place to take care of your children, and manage the wider family fall-out (not to mention the many well-meaning questions that inevitably come at Christmas functions with family or friends).
The biggest benefit in taking care of yourself, however, is that you invest in yourself.
By building your self-esteem you will be working to quieten that unfriendly voice in the depths of your mind questioning whether you’ve made the right decision.
Although there may be certain events you need to attend (or feel like you should attend), there will undoubtedly be several days that are quiet and give you a chance to pause.
Tips for Making it Through the Christmas Period.
If you need a bigger distraction over the next few weeks, here are some tips for making it through the holiday period:
- Remember it’s okay to say “no” (and if that’s too hard, try “not this time”, or “perhaps another time”;
- Acknowledge your feelings;
- Write down your thoughts and feelings;
- Keep moving – head outside and go for a walk or
- Spend some time at the beach;
- Be comfortable with feeling sad;
- Make a new tradition for yourself or your
- Talk to someone who makes you feel comfortable;
- Be flexible with holiday plans – if this is your
first Christmas juggling the time you spend with and without your children,
remember to focus on quality over quantity (and it’s the time you spend together
that will matter most, not how much you spend on them);
- Practice feeling at home wherever you are (whether
you have moved, or stayed in the family home, it may well feel very different –
consider making some small changes that will help you feel “at home”);
- Adjust your expectations, plan to do less!;
- Give yourself the gift of compassion;
- Set reasonable boundaries – for yourself and
- Focus on one thing at a time and commit to doing
- Give yourself time to rest;
- Let yourself catch up on sleep.
Megan Sweetlove is a divorce lawyer who helps people make smart legal decisions at the end of their marriage. Megan has worked with families who are experiencing separation and divorce for over 10 years.
Using a kind, compassionate and caring approach, Megan will work with you to develop a strategy that will enable you to have a successful separation and to work out the best way to move forward, taking into account your economic and emotional needs.
If you or someone you know needs assistance during divorce you can organise a complimentary 20 minute phone appointment with Megan here.
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